Dear Louie,

(From 2010)

The tragic earthquake in Haiti has claimed thousands of lives, and after eight days many lie in the ruins awaiting death, confused, dehydrated, delusional, and profoundly depressed as they lie in the confines of dust, gravel, and chunks of cement. If they are still conscious it is just barely. Life is slowly ebbing, lips and tongues are dry, caked with unimaginable leathery membranes, eyes no longer focus, movement is limited by lids tightly closed and sticky, irritated, and painful; hands are bound down by weighted junk and debris. No longer are undergarments soiled, their bodies have no fluids for excretion, urination stopped three days ago, defecation was initially explosive and passed as the fear of enclosure prompted the sphincter to relax and the descending colon to expel. Never had anyone experienced such misery on this island of sunshine and happiness, and the island of happiness in spite of its miserable squalor.

It sort of reminds me of many lives, many relationships which initially have begun with sunshine and happiness, only to drift into squalor and depression as loving associations are destroyed by slow deterioration. Then after years of subsisting in emotionally crowded confines of personality conflicts, some devastating earth-shaking event causes cataclysmic devastation. That event is usually a disclosure of infidelity.

Someone has cheated, has destroyed trust, has shaken the marriage, the relationship and destroyed the foundation, brought down the walls of security, comfort, and longevity of caring. The persons are as destitute as the victims lying in the cavities of the earthquakes.

One such event I recall was the life and death of a young woman who lived in a neighboring community, was highly educated, and had promise of personal and professional growth and success. She married a professional of equal promise, intelligence, but lacking in personal integrity and direction. They married, had children; from the first, the marriage was passionate but rocky; was sexually fulfilling yet empty. World history was read by the wife but lessons were unlearned and destruction slowly and progressively continued. The cataclysmic event was predictable and history slowly progressed until the earthshaking disclosure shook the family asunder.

Over the years the tectonic plates of the marriage shifted, quaked, slipped, and fell shaking the foundation of the marriage. Emotional cries of anger and depression were treated with alcohol and medication. Medication became drugged withdrawal, alcohol no longer was the sacrament of hope but the River Styx of oblivion. The cataclysmic event slowly developed.

One morning the plates ruptured. A discomfort became a major complaint, it was ignored. Pain relief was desired and medication was self-administered. Relief was obtained and deep sleep separated her from the deep pain in her belly and from the rumblings of infidelity. She died unattended after the progressive rumblings were relieved by the cataclysmic rupture of the bursting appendix. Not unlike the dying unattended women of Haiti.